Stockholm syndrome*
noun
feelings of trust or affection felt in many cases of kidnapping or hostage-taking by a victim towards a captor.
*Google Definitions.
I was on the phone with my sister getting so worked up about my sense of independence when she interrupted me and said “it’s like you have Stockholm syndrome..” My brain froze, my thoughts paused and I felt unbelievably dumbstruck. Have we grown so accustomed to our suffering that we start to love it? Subconsciously, I believe so.
The pain that comes from lack of action (choosing to bitch and complain rather than do something) is far less than acceptance and exposure to vulnerability. The unknown is so scary to us that we’d rather stick to something we know, regardless of the suffering it brings.
The same can apply to our thoughts, lifestyle, love life, jobs and habits. If your brain is accustomed (or taught) to self berate and belittle I’m afraid you’ve got the syndrome..but don’t we all? This doesn’t mean we don’t want to get better, it means we lack 1) awareness and 2) we are simply afraid. Even something like positive self dialogue seems scary at first only because it is unfamiliar territory.
Tony Robbins cleverly introduces the pain/pleasure motive behind everything we do or do not do. He clearly states that most of us will not bring about positive change to our lives unless the pain of not changing becomes bigger than pain of changing. Why is it that we need to be elbows deep into our own shit to replace our negative habits? It’s because we haven’t associated enough pleasure to change, evolvement, vulnerability and risk. We have, however, associated heaps of pleasure to our comfort zones.
As we continued speaking, I also realized that our constant grip on wining/losing or succeeding/failing brings about pressure that doesn’t exist outside our minds. This man-made pressure of duality is what further feeds our Stockholm syndromes. It creates more fear, and well fear is what paralyzes us. The truth is, there is no failure, and as cliche as it sounds, it’s true! What we call “failure” are actually stepping stones to winning!
The cure to the Stockholm syndrome, is a conscious acceptance of vulnerability. Just saying “Well alright tee, xyz makes me feel vulnerable but gosh wouldn’t it be an adventure too? Think of all the new experiences you can have!” This approach can build:
1) Awareness – awareness of old thought patterns and vulnerability
2) Positive self dialogue
3) Associating more pleasure that pain to vulnerability
Take that Stockholm syndrome!
With loving energy,
Tee
Peace of Tee 