Freedom From Resentment

Cultivating peace isn’t solely about incorporating new habits into our lives. It’s also about releasing certain blockages. We may think that feelings of resentment are how we teach others a lesson for mistreating us, but the truth is, resentment only harms the beholder. Consider that resentment is like a cancerous seed. When we water and feed it, it grows into an ugly monster that steals sunlight from other healthy seeds that have the potential to grow into wonderful manifestations, such as joy, passion or kindness.

Resentment and revenge are nothing but a waste of your energy and time. They have the ability to age your soul and hold you back from living a well deserved happy life. If you’re ready to start your cleansing process and live to your highest potential, the below step by step method will guide you to a step closer to freedom everyday:

1. Grab a pen and paper and start by making a list of things in your life that caused you to harbor any feelings of resentment. These could include your boss, your parents, your ex, a situation or even money.

2. By noting the approximate time in your life that you felt hurt or mistreated you will become aware of just how long you’ve been carrying resentment in your heart. This will also show you how long you’ve been holding yourself back! Is it still worth it? Does something someone did to you x amount of years ago, still have the power to hinder you? Are you ready to take your power back?

3. Replace judgement with understanding. Next to each of your points, ask yourself: why? Most of the time we tend to forget that only hurt people, hurt people. Here, you are finally cleansing your resentment and learning to become a more compassionate person.

For example, “I realize I have been resentful towards my mother since I was 5 years old because she chose to hit me to teach me a lesson. Why?  I am now aware that my mother hit me because her mother hit her. She is conditioned that way, and while that doesn’t excuse what she did, I refuse to let this memory have power over my life now.”

You may even realize that you were part of the problem! Perhaps you could’ve communicated your thoughts and expectations better. The point of this exercise is not to dwell on the past but to take responsibility and gain clarity. Remember, you cannot begin to fix an issue without first identifying it. You can only come out winning by finally choosing to learn from the past.

4. End each point with the following mantra: “I choose to reinterpret this point with love. I consciously release any resentment I have towards __________ (whatever the point is)

5. You can take your cleansing process a step forward and visualize yourself standing in front of your subject and saying “I forgive you, I release you.”

Most of us refuse to forgive because we believe forgiveness excuses the actions of another person but in reality, lack of forgiveness is like giving your power away! You are allowing yourself to be affected. There is a way to forgive a situation and only take the lesson with you. The lesson doesn’t burden you like resentment. It doesn’t weigh you down and steal your light. The lesson makes you stronger.

I personally started this little daily exercise a month ago and have never felt freer. You’d be surprised by how a tiny bit of “hashing it out” with yourself, could get you closer to yourself. I only hope it does the same for you 🙂

Never be afraid of reaching out to a professional. If you’ve done this exercise for over a month and still hold a cauldron of negative feelings within you, seek an alternative medicine healer, a psychologist or a life coach. There are people out there dedicated to helping you!

With loving energy,

Tee

ECO-ANXIETY: A SLOW DEATH

I toss and turn,

My body aches my mind lies

I wake up,

The sun sings the birds cry

I step outside,

Buildings rave squirrels die.

 

I cross the road,

Cars rage my lungs weep

I look around,

Artificial memories start to creep

I speed up,

Am I still stuck in sleep?

 

Panic struck,

Why is it all still here?

I run and run

Ridden by fear

Faster, faster!

My existence so drear,

 

I fall to my knees,

I scream I scream

Blood pumping,

Against the stream

Fists clenched,

Am I so extreme?

 

Alive yet lifeless,

Shielded mask

Alive yet lifeless,

Dust at dusk

Alive yet lifeless,

It’s time to unmask!

 

It dawns on me,

I take a breath

I suffocate,

Don’t hold your breath!

For this is

A slow death.

 

 

THE $3 THERAPY

A breaking point can turn into a breakthrough with one key ingredient: the willingness to feel better no matter what it takes. This is the kind of willingness that involves shattering the foundations of our core values, rewiring our beliefs and re-centering our navigation. This rebirth, is not one that thrives on quick fixes and distractions. It requires an honest approach.

I remember when I made feeling better a priority in my life. It one was the clearest turning points of my life. I wanted to feel better at any cost. I wanted to find out who I am and started to ask the bigger questions in life. But all at the same time there was so much I had to forgive myself for. I felt such an urge to finally accept and thus release all the lower vibrational feelings (stress, fear, anxiety and depression) that were pretty much riding me my whole life.

Through my 27 years of life, many people encouraged me write. I just couldn’t picture myself carrying a diary! I even sought a psychologist in my teenage years who really tried to get me to journal my thoughts. I resisted this idea so much and couldn’t understand why she wasn’t giving me a real solution. There was noway that something so simple could solve my complicated feelings, until I met a total stranger in a nearby park who changed my life. His name was Aaron.

Aaron was the kind of person who wore a smile on his face at all times. I had seen him wandering barefoot in the park throughout that spring season. He wore the simplest clothes and carried a journal and satchel around with him no matter where he went. Authenticity shot rays of light out of his physical body.  I can’t say for sure what attracted me to him, but it felt like the divine timing of synced energies. After sharing his story with me, I was fascinated by this person even more. As our conversation went on, I expressed my willingness to feel better and, you guessed it! He encouraged me to write.

That afternoon, I bought a notebook and thought, “I have nothing to lose.” That night I opened my notebook and wrote two awkward sentences before my words spilt onto almost half the book. I just couldn’t stop writing. Some pages were written with so much anger I had pierced holes through the pages! But the more I wrote, the more I felt better. I chose to disconnect from the world and left the city whenever I got the chance. I took my notebook everywhere with me. As time went by I felt physically lighter! I felt like I was floating through life unhinged by any emotional weight tugging at me.

I had always thought that physical exercise was my outlet, until I realized how much I was neglecting my soul. Writing allowed me to reconnect with myself. I learnt that writing is more than just filling out school examinations and presenting summaries or essays in exchange for a grade, but I couldn’t see it because I had put up my walls of judgement and resistance for years, until writing was all I had left.

I truly hope this entry inspires you to finally pick up that pen and paper and feel good! Below, are some other hidden powers that writing has to offer you:

1. by keeping a journal you are able to reflect on your experiences, increase your awareness and reevaluate your life values. Writing has the ability to improve every, yes every, area of your life!
2. Journaling allows you to cultivate gratitude and presence. A bad mood can easily be switched into feelings of fullness and abundance by jotting down a few of the things in you life that you are grateful for. Gratitude lists have the powerful ability to get your mind off future desire and into current blessings.
3. A simple to do list has the power to accelerate the manifestation of your goals!

“A dream written down with a date Becomes a goal.”

With loving energy,

Tee

 

 

Self-love is the new Activism

“Yesterday I was clever and tried to change the world. Today I am wise and try to change myself.” – Rumi 

Empathy and compassion are what make us human. They are not qualities that need to be taught. In fact, they have been there deep within us the whole time! We’ve just buried them in a deep dark place because, at one point or another, we’ve allowed feelings of betrayal to consume us.

Those who appear to be the most reckless towards others, are in fact the most reckless towards themselves, but when we choose to listen and understand someone, rather than judge them, we become aware of the underlying question of “why?” Perhaps recklessness was taught or perhaps a combination of trauma and lack of forgiveness has planted a seed of anger and wrath. Whatever the narrative, when we feel broken inside and lack self-awareness, we cannot even begin to be there for someone else, at least not in the right way.

After my awakening, I was able to reconnect with my authentic self, but before that, I couldn’t say that I was doing very much to make the world a better place, let alone my life! I had expectations and judgement towards corporations, yet there I was supporting them by buying the products that they were selling. I was so oblivious to the fact that I was a part of the money making machine, ploughing everything in its way for a quick a buck. My biggest concern was the environment. I was posting pretty pictures of nature, but consuming single use plastics at the same time.

The fact that we feel so demotivated and uninspired to do anything about some of the things we are unhappy about is, because we feel too small. What’s a drop in the ocean to do? We feel that we are completely powerless in the face of society and multi-million dollar corporations. If your opinion never mattered as a child, then you especially feel like you don’t matter, I know exactly what that feels like. If you’re out there I feel you.

Another reason we feel powerless is because we feel the need to fight.  This turns us into angry peace-makers which drains our energy. The non-violent approach of Gandhi can prove to us that you cannot fight war with war. It is like saying “I will lose weight by eating fast food.”  For example, a few months ago I was so fed up at this particular restaurant chain in my country and so I decided to do something about it. To give you some context, my country, known for its lush nature, has been devastated by an ongoing garbage crisis that has made our seas and land nothing more than toxic disease incubators.

I was deliberately taking to social media the irresponsibility of this restaurant chain regarding their wasteful packaging. I even called them out when they continuously sent me plastic cutlery when I specifically asked them not to. I never used any foul or indecent language, and I stated that I was only trying to point out the problem and encourage healthy dialogue between consumers and suppliers. But at the end of the day, I just didn’t feel good! I felt mean and angry. My energy was spent and above all..nothing changed.

I never gave up, but I did realize that my approach just wasn’t going to work. I simply decided to spend my money at restaurants that are taking a green initiative. Instead of singling anyone out I used my platform to educate whoever was listening. I chose to share information on the dangers of single use plastics. I dropped my plastic consumption by at least 80% and participated in beach clean ups.  I was able to sleep better at night, knowing I was keeping my body healthy and our world a little cleaner. By choosing responsibility rather than reactivity I felt better! The point is that we perform our best when we feel good.

Fighting violence with violence  doesn’t make us any different and it doesn’t change much. It turns into what I call “the battle of the egos,” because we start to lose sight of the issue at hand. It also leaves us feeling powerless. Going off on a rant is easy. Maintaining grace is where true power lies. Just imagine that you were on the receiving end of any rant..You wouldn’t listen to you! In fact you would feel offended and decide to be uncooperative.

Maintain your grace and wake up to the fact that YOU MATTER! How can you not? You are paying these corporations to survive and even strive! Without your money and demand they would be forced to take a different approach that suits the planet and not just their pockets. They would even be forced to shut down! Companies are making billions off our lack of self-love! But don’t let that drive you crazy.  Shift your focus to self-love and everything will fall into place.

Nobody is expecting you to wake up one morning and completely shift your lifestyle at the switch of a button. Start to cultivate self-love because you matter! You deserve to breathe clean air, eat healthy food and feel amazing! By changing yourself, you WILL make the world a better place. Remember that you cannot pour from an empty cup so go ahead and fill your cup with love.

With loving energy,

Tee

 

 

Communication

In my early twenties I was in and out of the hospital, trying to heal recurring tonsillitis. My doctors were consistently  putting me on courses of antibiotics, which would only temporary simmer the virus. No doctor was able to identify the type of virus and frankly told my mother they didn’t know what it was.

It was the last doctor I visited that suggested that the root of my problem was an emotional one. He encouraged me to speak to a psychologist. I remember feeling so vulnerable, I walked out in tears! Nonetheless my mother encouraged me to speak to a professional. She wasn’t thrilled about it, as she was a little old fashioned, but she wanted to see me get better.

I grew up in a family of six. My father was overwhelmed at work and barely had any time to spend at home. He was always too stressed out, providing for his family, and had a short temper. My father had a technical approach to life, he wasn’t willing to communicate or talk about feelings very much. My mother was doing her best handling a four year old, a two year old and a set of baby twins, I was one of them. Needless to say, I barely communicated at home. I grew up reserved and quiet because I didn’t want to piss my father off, or further burden my mother.

Why am I sharing all this? Because once I started to clear the energy blockage lodged in my throat, the tonsillitis began to fade. My virus was due to the lack of communication in my life. This was the first time I understood how physical disease a is a manifestation of emotional compilation. When we feel down, so does our immunity!

When we try to keep the peace by keeping our feelings to ourself, we start an inner war. If you grew up with the inability to voice your concerns, just like I did, communication is what will set you free, but you will have to cultivate a practice that is proactive to sudden explosive rants. A combination of bottling up our concerns or traumas and explosive anger is a recipe for suffering.

We’ve all, at one point or another, experienced  the relief that comes with confiding in a friend. We feel a sense of release like a long exhale after a deep inhale. We also feel the blockage in our throats loosen up more and more, as we speak. By the time we’re done, we start to feel better overall. We gain perspective as we voice our thoughts out aloud, and start to realize that maybe just maybe, we were overreacting. We may even realize how little our problems really are in the grand scheme of things. That is the power of communication.

Healing comes with releasing not suppressing. Start by making communication a big part of your life. Most of our conflicts arise, not because we’re failures, but because we fail to communicate from the get-go. This is especially true for our relationships. The more we silence our concerns the bigger the explosion. But don’t confuse communicating with talking. Communication is a two way street, there must be listening involved. By consciously choosing to listen, you may be able to hear constructive advice that could actually help you!

If you are unable to talk to your partner, or family, talk to a professional psychologist. I walked out of some sessions feeling better and others not so much. But eventually I felt lighter because I was releasing pent up emotions, without even knowing it. You can even speak to a spiritual healer who has the ability to show you how to heal yourself. Open up to the possibilities around you, because if nothing changes..well..nothing changes. I chose to reach out to healers regardless of what others thought. The only thought I had afterwards was “I wish I had done this sooner!” But everything happens in diving timing.

Inner dialogue is a form of communication that you have with yourself. Are you communicating with yourself in an empowering manner? Or are you stuck in a vicious cycle of negative self-talk? Be the listener of those thoughts. Start by writing them down, if you cannot speak to somebody. Writing is what I call “the $3 therapy.” I remember resisting the advice to write immensely before I surrendered. Writing was all I had left. Every time I wrote I instantly felt relieved. Writing allows you to declutter your mind, release pent -up emotions, let go of the past, set goals and increase awareness. It has the ability to improve every area of your life!

Expression is what clears our throat chakra, the 5th chakra in the human body. By speaking your truth you clear the blockage and allow your energy to flow more freely. You will feel lighter and more confident.  Communicate because it is a form of self-love! Communicate because you choose health and peace of mind!

With loving energy,

Tee